Some Exciting News
I am excited to finally announce that my husband and I are expecting our third child! If you have been around my blog for any length of time you will know that we lost our second child five hours after birth due to a disorder called Edward’s Syndrome or Trisomy 18. Safe to say this pregnancy has been met with excitement and thankfulness for this great blessing and anxiety and fear over having something similar happen again. The last several years of both mine and my husband’s lives have been full of big life changes – some good, some bad. We are, of course, not the only ones dealing with the constant chaos of life, so I thought it only right for the blog post this week to discuss how to handle big life changes – as I’d say at this point our family has become relative pros at this!
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Life is full of ups and downs. Over the last five years my husband and I both went through divorces, moved, started new jobs, got engaged, married, moved again, and immediately following marriage we got pregnant (two weeks in!). After all of that, when our daughter was one we got pregnant with our second child. Little did we know, that would be the hardest thing we faced thus far. A stressful pregnancy for nearly the full nine months as something felt wrong even around the four to five week mark.
We rounded out the pregnancy and the year with the death of our newborn baby and the burial that came next. The next year, we dealt with health issues affecting both me and my husband. Fortunately, he ended up being a picture of health, but I ended up in surgery to remove a cyst that had been on one of my ovaries for far too long and was causing hormone imbalances that affected me in all aspects of life.
Now, we find ourselves pregnant with our third child and are overjoyed! Despite the joy, you can see that our lives have been full of the ups and downs. My husband and I dealt with all of life’s biggest stressors – a new job, moving, divorce, marriage, death – you name it we have pretty much checked it off our list at this point. And yet – we are blessed!
Blessings in Disguise
As you can see, my husband and I have weathered a lot of storms. We have also had so many blessings! Meeting one another and getting engaged and married, starting our lives together fresh in a new city and new home, and having our children have all been such wonderful things.
One of my biggest tips that I can share when it comes to handling life’s big changes is to see the good. I think as Christians this can come more naturally, because we know that God works everything to the greatest good. We may not understand how a bad thing to us is good, but ultimately we trust in Him and know that it is. For instance, our daughter’s disorder was one of the worst things I could have imagined having happen. The stress of the pregnancy, all the unknowns, the ultimate loss were crippling. Despite this, I also took comfort throughout all of it knowing that our daughter was loved, baptized, and in heaven pain free, disorder free, and in her short time here on earth even while still in the womb she was a witness to our Lord. What a powerful thing for a baby to be!
What Can Be Good in so Much Bad?
The whole ordeal also brought us closer to God. We completely and totally leaned on and trusted in Him. He provided us our crosses to bear that were a blessing in the end. It is still a hard thing to live with, the pain hasn’t miraculously gone away, the frustration of the loss is still there at times, but ultimately we are blessed. I am not sure (outside of our family of course) of exactly what all good the Lord brought from our daughter, Evie and her short life here on earth, but I know her life impacted people for the better.
Was someone in the health world we encountered inspired to be more compassionate toward people in a situation like ours? Was someone brought to faith because of our fortitude to protect our child until God decided to take her home? Did someone find an interest in researching how to better help children and families affected by Trisomy 18? I suppose we may never know, but I do know that good came of it.
Always Looking Ahead
Have you ever noticed that it’s the calm not the storm that is sometimes the hardest? When you’re in the midst of chaos, you focus on what you’re doing. You don’t have time to be scared, timid, or hide from what is attacking you – you have to face it head on. If you have ever dealt with a death for instance, oftentimes the sorrow, the true sadness or despair you may feel doesn’t hit until after all the hub bub is over. When the funeral ends, the planning stops, and everyone leaves, you sit alone in the quiet—and that’s when the loss hits you. When the sadness creeps in.
Staying busy is good. Distractions, preferably helpful distractions can be good. As long as we have life to live and things to look forward to, even in the bleakest times it can be what we need to keep going. This is especially true in times of overwhelm. Even positive events, like an exciting move, can bring immense stress. When life feels like too much, as in those moments you want to hide away and just stick your head in the sand or hibernate until the struggle is over, that is when you need to look ahead the most.
What Does Looking Ahead Actually Look Like?
Looking ahead can be looking forward to something in the next five minutes or the next five years. For example, using our moving scenario – it can be designing your new kitchen that you are about to move in to, or taking joy in the fact that you are in the process of getting rid of a lot of things before the big move. Maybe you want to focus on something entirely outside of the idea of moving. Perhaps you are moving while also pregnant or starting a new job which only further adds to your overwhelm while also being incredibly wonderful and exciting.
It can be tough to balance all of the spinning plates in the air and the emotions that come with all of them. So focus on what you can. Stay productive, look forward to the good things like the new home, new baby, or new job, but take a step back when you need. Watch a movie, binge a show, read a good book, or do what you can to take little breaks to relax in the midst of all that is happening.
Prioritize Some “Me” Time
Everyone needs to decompress. As an introvert, I HAVE to decompress on a pretty regular basis. For those extroverts out there, you can take longer for your recharge, but ultimately everyone needs that time to reset. That will look different for everyone. A day at the spa, or maybe a day at home pampering yourself with your own “spa” day is what the doctor ordered. Watching that show, or reading that good book that we just discussed may be more your speed. Maybe baking or cooking or gardening, or even working on the car is what calms you down.
However you find your escape from the real world for a while and can let your mind be calm for even a minute or two can work wonders in the midst of life’s big surprises. I find working out, time outside, or even just staying productive helps me feel so much better than if I let my worries get to me and begin procrastinating or hiding from my overwhelm. I spend my evenings trying to wind down with a good show or movie as decompression time, but I still find therapy in my workouts or my chores! No matter what, it’s safe to say everyone feels a little better after a little extra self pampering and self care.
Plan Your Flight and Fly Your Plan
My Papa was a glider pilot in World War II and he had a saying, “Plan your flight and fly your plan”. Sometimes life can be hard to plan around. For instance, with our daughter Evie, there were A LOT of variables and therefore unknowns for her situation. We didn’t know if we would be bringing home a severely disabled child, a disabled child with still severe disabilities but milder than could have been, or if she would make it home at all. We didn’t know if she would be staying in the NICU, and if so how long. No one knew what her condition would be like when she was born and if she would need surgery or if the doctors would even perform it if she did.
The unknown to me is the worst. Even if the outcome is bad, it is somehow better to me knowing because I can prepare and tackle it, but the unknown feels helpless. Despite the unknown, I still plan my flight the best I can and fly into the unknown with a tentative plan (or twelve alternative plans) close behind. I may not have had the answers I wanted in regards to Evie and her condition, but I still planned everything I could.
I found a good hospital and team to deliver her, we had a car seat just in case, and a few small things for her that she might need. We had prepared an emergency baptism with our pastor, we had named our daughter, and we spent time getting to know her as best we could before birth. I did everything I could to prepare, and it brought me a lot of comfort despite the hardships we still faced.
Blessed!
This blog post has been a heavier one. Life can sure bring some hard times, even mixed in with good. We can find ourselves overwhelmed by even the most joyous of things. Especially when life doles out one big change after another it can be exhausting despite the good that may come of it all. No matter what, as discussed earlier, even the tough things in life ultimately bring good. A tough divorce may lead to a fresh beginning with the right person, a stressful move brings a cozy home with new friends and family in the area, a baby brings so many unexpected fun adventures full of love.
This pregnancy has brought a lot of mixed emotions for me. I am beyond happy, beyond anxious, but also beyond blessed. The past year was tough with my hormonal battle all while hoping to get pregnant and try once more for another child. It was a tough road, but we made it. This new chapter brings so much joy and excitement, but it also comes with moments of stress and occasional PTSD from what we went through during our second pregnancy. Despite all the difficult things, the Lord has blessed me with this baby and I am trusting in Him that no matter the outcome it will all be for the highest good – and isn’t that one of the best ways to handle the big life changes?
Looking for More Inspiration?
Now that you guys know that I am pregnant with our third baby, I am excited to do some pregnancy content on here. From pregnancy workouts, fashion, skincare, and more the ideas are endless. Nursery decorating, packing the hospital bag, (can you tell I’m SO excited?!) and so much more content is on my mind. Stay tuned for pregnancy content to come (and don’t worry the blog won’t become all pregnancy all the time – I have plenty more content to share that is completely unrelated to pregnancy and babies). Speaking of which – check out my latest blog post where you can download a free spring 2026 bucket list printable.
I have more spring content coming soon, too. In the meantime, you can read up on sprucing up the house for spring. If you are in the mood for some spring cleaning I also have a free year long cleaning checklist that you can download by simply signing up for my email list. Click the button “Download Your Checklist!” from the Homepage and you will receive it directly to your email.
